mixed emotions

100$ richer after working.
haha.
though i feel guilty at times.
its too easy to be hard earned money.
i wonder whats my vocation.
at times i feel as though i'm born to be a computer geek.
today i feel like alpha human.
good in everything.
BUT not good in holding on to you.
i just give up too easily.
and i know i must.
yet all of me is reluctant to let go.
its as though i'm about to let loose the key to life.
giving up will mean locking my life forever.
maybe not forever but for a long while..
till.... i can find another key complementary to me.
haha biology is fun.